Yup, today is #TBT a.k.a “Throwback Thursday” as we’ve come to know it where we travel down memory lane via pics of our past selves, often embarrassing yet comical pictures of who we were when…..!
I’ve actually had plenty thoughts about things I wanted to get off my chest or put to paper just to rid myself of the idle chatter in my head but then somehow I get distracted and just like that blogging becomes a distant thought. (This too I’m working on).
So back to this “Ten Things Thursday” which I am committed and dedicated to doing and perhaps enough to even make a regular thing which could be a GREAT way to up my blogging. (One step/thought at a time [note to self]).
Back to my current situation…….
1. I wonder sometimes how social media would’ve changed my childhood. We played outside, actually had to work in school (no internet to easily look things up), had to have real interaction with others, etc.
2. Do shorter work weeks often feel like really loooong work weeks?
3. Remember when only a certain type of woman drank stiff cocktails….now seems like EVERYONE drinks!
4. Does anyone else want to see “The Fault in Our Stars” or am I the only one?
5. In life, sometimes the RIGHT thing and the HARDEST thing are the SAME thing. <—let that marinade.
6. Social media is both a blessing and the devil, moreso the devil because of those who taint it and use it for bad.
7. Remember when “baby daddy” was not an acceptable term nor mainstream?
8. As a dear friend of mine would say, “an empty wagon makes a lot of noise” to which I often wonder why do people who are really empty, insecure, etc. always have so much to say.
9. Why do people (of a particular age, 30+) still make excuses for their lives, for what did or didn’t happen vs taking the present by the reigns in order to make changes in the future. We all have a past; we all have to face life (some with more challenges than others yes but still) so why not use the numerous resources available to do differently.
10. Finally, my current thought while paying homage to the dearly departed Maya Angelou (may God rest her soul): “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” – Maya Angelou
That is all!
Ahh the first week of Spring and given Mother Nature’s behavior of late it is a nice welcome!
It has been quite some time since I last posted anything (for no particular reason), but with a new season, flowers blooming, and longer days, I figured now is as good a time as any to make a contribution.
So much has occurred this first quarter of 2014 and with breath that is bated, I wait in anticipation to see what the rest of 2014 will bring. As you know or perhaps you don’t, I took a sabbatical; I celebrated my milestone birthday in a big way back in January – by going to Bali – I went off sabbatical thanks to an amazing opportunity, and experienced a sort of transformation by way of it all. With the change in season and changes in my life I thought it apropos to do a mental purge which is more or less my observations, keys to my life’s goal of self-preservation, and just good ol’ guiding principles to being my most authentic self.
People often ask me how I [seemingly] appear always happy/cheerfully go-lucky while remaining [seemingly] unfazed by things; how I stay the course; set what seems like crazy goals and actually hit them. I personally think its just how I’m ‘built’ but equally a combination of many of my guiding principles and my soul’s purpose to which I will freely share with you. So in no particular order:
2. Understand and accept that everyone will NOT like you, get you, nor think favorably of you! THAT my dear is quite alright especially if you know you’ve not intentionally been unkind to them! Alot of people walking around don’t even like themselves so how can we expect to be liked by everyone we meet – IJS.
3. In life, THIS life, in REAL life, things will happen but it’s up to you to determine how you react and/or respond to said things. No one can MAKE you do anything (unless of course they’re holding a gun to your head – literally) so we can’t blame others for how we respond as we are all given the gift of choice….to walk away, end the conversation, end the friendship/relationship, etc. We must accept our part in every situation in order to grow/learn from it.
4. NEVER loan money you can’t afford to GIVE AWAY….Jesus be unlimited coins!!!! Helping others is what makes life grand (IMO) but you can’t help others at your own expense. As the old saying goes “no good deed goes unpunished” and THIS oddly enough is the reward for helping. However if you decide to loan money you have to think in terms of giving it away because oftentimes you will never receive it back and if you you do it’s rarely as promised (when promised, with the same urgency as when they pleaded their case for your help, or in some cases without them somehow making you feel somekindaway about expecting it returned).
5. You can NOT change people! HOWEVER, you CAN be the reason for the change in another person (friend, lover, partner, etc.). When we meet people we must understand WHO they are (truly), who WE are when with them/in their presence, and how that aligns with who we are, our goals, wants, needs, as well as our deal breakers. Everyone is NOT for everybody and that, my dear is a-OK! Sometimes relationships/partnerships run their course but we must appreciate it for what it was.
6. Focus less on others (in terms of what they’re doing, their success <–except to learn from it, their life <–unless you’re learning from it, inspired by it, etc) and more on yourself. By no means does this mean be selfish but moreso as a means of working on you. Pour everything you have into yourself for YOU not as a means to keep up with others, outdo others, or live for others <–that rarely works.
8. Go balls-to-the-wall for what you want (career, passions, love interests, desires, goals, relationships ,etc. <–in a non-stalker-threatening way of course). We have to continuously DO THE WORK (Iyanla says this and I live by it). Toil away, stay the course and truly put your all into whatever you want because in the end it will be worth it. I always say, I might not win today but trust that I will continue until I do and thus far I have won a dozen times over when many never saw me coming.
9. Stop seeking others to make you happy….happiness begins within and therefore you must begin with happiness internally. Start with YOU!
10. STOP making excuses for what was or wasn’t, what is or isn’t and instead learn from it and strive to be better than whatever it was/is, create the life you want from where you are right this moment. Our past is just that, behind us and we all have one but constantly living there does nothing for living in the NOW. We have to make peace with everything up to the NOW or we will forever remain in the past and therefore NOT move forward.
11. Live life for you, UNAPOLOGETICALLY! No, I don’t mean in a selfish way, although many reading this will assume I’m being selfish by saying this and to them I say, well that’s unfortunate you feel that way (me being unapologetic).
12. Understand the power of relationships for everyone you potentially meet has a story and oftentimes that story is something you can learn from or amazingly will provide YOU with further insight to YOU just by crossing their path <–trust me on this one.
13. When people show you who they are – BELIEVE them the first time (good, bad, and otherwise)! After that, decide how best to deal with them or not. We each have to teach people how to deal with us by virtue of what we accept/allow from them.
14. Actions truly speak louder than words. You can talk a good game and TELL me who you are or aren’t but your behaviors, actions, interactions, etc. will speak volumes about you as an individual. Therefore always strive to live your truth no matter what it is (see #1, #2, and #5 above).
15. Surround yourself with the following and not necessarily “in your immediate circle or as your new bestie” but in your contact list in real life LOL: those similiar to you (in thought, goals, lifestyles, passions, careers, background, etc); those very different from you; someone living out or doing things you dream of, envision, desire; a mentor/someone you can mentor; someone you can be completely vulnerable with, i.e. fully transparent without fear of judgment/criticism; someone of the opposite sex – non-romantic although you may be attracted to them or find them attractive….it provides a different perspective.
16. Accept that people ARE different! One person’s experience is often different from the next but that does not discount the experience just because the other has yet to experience the same. We MUST be open to our differences even if we don’t fully understand it.
18. The right person WILL open your eyes to life through a different lens. Life is meant to be shaken not stirred (to the core and then sipped with the pinky finger out)!
19. Spend more time doing than talking about doing.
20. Do something for the first time; something that frightens you; something you never imagined you could. Your soul will thank you for it!
It’s Sunday, January 5th and our journey to Bali began with our flight from LAX to the Asian hub in Taipei, Taiwan…a mere 10+ hour flight followed by the 6 hour flight to Bali from Taipei! This would be the first of about 7 flights for me during this journey for my 40th birthday.
The Arrival – Day 1 (January 7th)
As Bali is 16 hours ahead of LAX (our departure location), we left on Sunday and arrived on Tuesday, January 7th local time. First, was the shock as we emerged from a long line in customs to what felt like 900 smoldering degrees outside. There were a sea of drivers with cards of names in which I was trying my best to search through for my own name. I was slightly overwhelmed to say the least but eventually found the driver with my name. After telling the 2 drivers that it would just be us vs the 6+ that were anticipated, we piled into the air conditioned vehicle ready to start our adventure.
First thing we noticed were all the scooters, motorbikes on the road not to mention the driving being totally opposite of that in the Western world. Our driver – Gusti took us to a little restaurant enroute to our villa which was our first intro to Bali.
So when I first started planning and even before I chose Bali, I knew that I wanted to rent a villa just to add to this once in a lifetime experience and intro to 40. Let me say, this villa did NOT disappoint! It was just what I envisioned and then some. It would have been the perfect accommodation for the larger group that originally planned to partake in this journey. It was a 3000+ sq ft 3 bedroom, 4 bathroom, living room, kitchen, private pool villa in South Kuta, Bali (Indonesia). The pictures really don’t do it justice as you would probably think it’s the entire property but really it’s an individual villa (#104 was our Villa #), spacious and uber private.
Before the trip I came across the spa packages, all of which were to DIE for which included a 6-day Body Purification that was the equivalent to the cost of 1 spa treatment here in the US. Of course I had to snag that for us as my way of saying thanks….and it was pure HEAVEN each and every day. By the 3rd day though it was just too much so we opted not to do our 2 sessions that day as we were (believe it or not) “massaged-out” lol! Did I tell you the showers were outside? It was the most liberating thing EVER….once I got past the idea of bugs and snakes trying to snack on my nekkedness lol!
In and around Bali
So I left the schedule kinda open to ensure I didn’t wear myself out which I tend to do alot when I travel, however I did have a few things in mind that I either wanted to do or see to include both a temple or 2 and riding the elephants – both of which we were able to accomplish. The first couple days were more or less just exploring and figuring things out. The only constant was probably our appetite and my cocktail intake which after all it was a Sselebration lol! We were ready to eat even before we finished the meal we were eating which made us crack up each and every time. Because the language was totally foreign to us, we also found comedy in randomly calling out food when someone spoke in their native tongue…..then again we were always talking bout, looking for, ordering, and partaking in food. Indonesian food put you in mind of Thai cuisines, lots of rices and spices. The local beer and alcohol was “Bintang” and “Arak” respectfully however I traveled with my own favorite – “Ciroc” peach and regular lol!
Transportation was interesting and thankfully the villa provided a driver which was really convenient for us not to mention he was soooo friendly and cool! Given the 200+ million people in Indonesia and 4 + million in Bali alone, it’s no wonder that the major transportation method was scooters/motorbikes and they were EVERYWHERE! I believe I died every time we went somewhere because these bikes were all over the road with babies, 2 and 3 people on one, helmets no helmets, dodging in between cars etc. I just had to close my eyes a few times while saying “I’m bout to die” which of course didn’t happen lol!
All in all I’d say we did what we wanted, played tourist, relaxed, ate, turned up a little, and over all had a fantastic time.
My birthday – January 9th
So the day finally arrived and I can’t tell you how excited I was especially knowing that I would technically welcome it twice – once Bali time then 13 hours later EST time. We started the day thinking we’d ride Elephants at the Bali Zoo but was told the weather was a little questionable so we decided to nix that. Instead we decided to go to one of the beach clubs to lounge on the beach, kick back some cocktails and party before visiting one of the temples, the Kecak Dance, and finally dinner in Jimbaran Bay.
As with the preceding days we started off with our massage IN our villa vs the spa itself just to change things up and as usual it was the cat’s meow! Creole Queen had to run out so I went to the restaurant to partake in a cocktail and this seafood chowder I absolutely fell in love with. As I was preparing to leave Creole Queen was returning so we went to the front desk to arrange our afternoon program. To my surprise the staff at Mahagiri Dreamland Spa and Villas prepared a birthday presentation for me with a cake, floral arrangement, and Balinese song from the entire staff. I was totally moved and honored. Afterwards we had our driver take us to Karma Beach. This was absolutely beautiful but all the loungers were already taken and we didn’t want to sit directly out in the sun so we asked our driver for another beach which lead us to Tanjung Beach (I believe it was) where we rode jet skis and I did fly fishing. I wanted to go parasailing but the winds were too high so I was advised against it. No matter because fly fishing was exhilarating and a little scary but I was all in. This consisted of me lying on my back on this raft thing while being pulled out into the Indian Ocean until I appeared as a dot from the shore. Before I knew it the guy says, “are you ready” to which I say “hell yeah” and we take off. Next thing I know I see the ocean moving further away from me as I am elevated what feels like 30 feet into the air. OMG this was craaaaazy fun! After we finally made it back to the shore I hopped on the jet ski which was a total thrill ride. I think I nearly lost my bikini bottom in the process.
After returning to the villa to freshen up, we once again hopped in the car with our driver and headed to the Uluwatu Temple where we experienced the Kecak Dance on the cliff. Once it was over and we exited we were wandering around looking for Gusti, our driver, only to stumble upon the local monkeys walking around freely. Earlier leaving the temple, a couple of the monkeys grabbed the sunglasses of some local Australian tourist and scurried off. My scary ass was frightened to death at the site of these animals just walking around freely. Gusti appeared just in time. We then headed to Jimbaran Bay for my birthday dinner on the beach which was absolutely amazing! We literally picked our seafood and how it was to be prepared before it was presented to our table. Needless to say after all of these festivities and the start of my lingering cough, we headed back to the villa to shut it down for the eve.
Final days (January 10th – 12th)
After a good nights rest and me trying to sweat out the cough that tried to ruin my experience we decided to forego the massage and instead sleep in a bit. Since our Elephant ride was nixed on my birthday due to possible rain we decided to get it in on Friday followed by shopping and a night at the discotheque! The elephant ride was pretty darn cool even though I was internally frightened to death lol. My Elephant’s name was Budi like our friend at the villa and he was 24 yo. I’d obviously seen elephants before at my local zoos but this was a totally different experience….up close and personal.
Leaving the Bali Zoo we made a few stops along the way to this spot that was known as the Silver and Gold (a Jewelry emporium basically), a Batik market, and a place where Creole Queen got her much coveted Kopi Luwak. <–research that…it’s pretty cool actually. We had a tea and coffee tasting that was amazing right there in what seemed like on the side of the road.
Farewell Bali, Hello Hawaii
So we said farewell to Bali on Sunday, January 12th and it was definitely a fantastic experience but we were ready to move on and make our way back home. Our next stop was our 24 hour stay in Hawaii which was really cool. Although I didn’t get to see my elementary school (it was after all on a military base), we did hang out with one of Creole Queens’ friends who lived there and was ironically celebrating her birthday that next day. So we did cocktails followed by dinner on Waikiki Beach at Ocean Reef which was cool.
With that the journey ended as it began with me on a flight back to Atlanta where I was all too thrilled to be!! Thank you for celebrating in this journey with me! Bali was everything I imagined and then some.
*Exhale* I did it……I went to Bali for my birthday, my 40th birthday no less just as I planned.
I am still detoxing from this whirlwind of an adventure which took me from Atlanta to LA to Taipei and finally Bali, Indonesia all in celebration of turning the B-I-G 40 *home alone face*! The return was even more exciting as we threw in a stop over in Hawaii for the night before rounding out our journey as it started, to LA then me on to ATL.
I guess you can say I am sort of a dreamer, but some would say visionary, I say I’m just a gal who doesn’t believe in limitations; a gal who believes anything is possible if you put your mind to it and follow-up with a little (or a lot) or work behind it; one who believes if you can dream it you can certainly achieve it. So a year + ago I was thinking of my 40th, largely in disbelief that it was upon me, but moreso as in what the hell am I gonna do…..see my last post (http://godivaworld.com/2014/01/03/my-journey-to-bali-and-40/) on how it came to be.
So the journey started by wrapping up all the holiday activities which at this point seem like a blur. First of all, my crown slipped on New Year’s eve resulting in me sorta panicking about being able to get into the dentist with just 2 days between the holiday and my first flight. I had to get my mom/sister/niece & nephew home followed by picking up my Aunties the next day who were kind enough to house sit for me for the 10 days. Got all that behind me (including repairing my crown) and was able to sorta exhale….but still not as excited as one would imagine me to be.
Next was tryna figure out what the hell to pack which I was finally able to make some sense of. See it was gonna be tricky because it was nearly 3 trips in one: My LA ‘fits, my Bali wears, my Hawaii ‘fits, followed by my “return to Winter weather” outfit for my flight back to Atlanta.
So began the journey on Saturday, January 4th with my flight from Atlanta to LAX. Let’s just say it did NOT go as planned. Immediately upon checking my bags at curbside I was informed that my flight to LA was delayed resulting in my connecting Vegas flight being missed and no other flights available til the next day….WTH. I, of course explained to the Southwest rep that in no uncertain terms could I miss the flight because I HAD to be in LA by 9 PM the next night for my flight to Bali. At the gate there was lots o’ chatter as several of us were making arrangements to rent vehicles in Vegas and make the drive to LA if the flight was in fact delayed or cancelled. Needless to say the panic was for naught as it all worked out. I even met a cool chick from Fresno, I believe, whom I chatted with nearly the entire flight. Actually there were several cool folks I befriended, especially once they heard I was going to Bali AND turning 40….funny how many people were shocked by both lol!
Anyhoo, arriving in LA nearly 10 PM PST, Creole Queen picked me up from LAX ready to get the show on the road. After a night in her corporate digs, we rose the next day and enjoyed a little last minute shopping and brunch that included the absolute BEST fresh-squeezed OJ I’ve EVER tasted (at this spot called Lulu’s)….gosh I can still taste it.
Now it was time for our flight and one of the funniest things to happen was enroute to LAX, I spotted Jack in the Box (which we do not have in ATL but I have to have whenever I go to a city with one…..go figure). Creole Queen was nearly on 2 wheels as I screamed “oooh Jack in the Box” and turned the car almost illegally onto a one way street so I could get my fix. We hollered all the way to the rental car return.
Once we got on the shuttle though we almost had a moment because the shuttle driver set us off. As we arrived at LAX he asked all the passengers for their airline info to which I responded with “China Airlines” and he kindly said okay that’s terminal 2. Well we get to terminal 2, tip him for our bags, and lug our 6 bags between us to a cart and the counter before realizing that er uh this is “Air China” not China Airlines. We plum had to walk from Terminal 2 to Terminal 5 I believe….we were slightly heated but let it roll. So began our journey to Bali.
To be continued……..more pictures on next post!
Welcome to 2014!!!
As I prepare to embark on this journey o’ mine – the world of “40” and the beautiful country of Indonesia, Bali to be exact, I am still in disbelief of both! This has been a year or so in the making stemming from nothing more than a love of travel, a desire to welcome 40 with arms wide open, and my never-ending quest to create everlasting memories!
So how did this all come to be? Well for starters I’ve been in denial so long about turning 40 that when I realized it was right around the corner (after I turned 38) a little panic set in causing my brain to go into overload. Once I came to…well not really but I was perhaps a little stunned (LOL) I reflected on how many events I’d planned for others on their special days and milestone birthdays and just how befitting for me to do something equally as fabulous for myself.
Since I was writing for that travel magazine/online editorial at the time, I started thinking about something exotic, incorporating my love of travel, my desire to give a little to others, and my quest to support my philosophy that no dream is too big with the proper planning, work, and focus. The editor (whom I adore) connected me to her partners in Greece to assist me in arranging a Villa to accommodate my guests. I was also thinking of Greece as it is a destination I’ve been longing to visit. Speaking of, my list of “40 and Fantastical” destinations included: Greece, Morocco, Ibiza, Capetown (again), Bali, Phuket, and Belize in no particular order….there may have been a few others but “turning 40 and forgetful” disease has already kicked in.
Anyhoo, after making contact with the folks over in Greece, they so graciously informed me that my birthday happens to fall within the Greek Winter so as you can imagine that immediately put my plans on pause. After the initial letdown, my new Grecian friends informed me that they had contacts in Bali and since Bali was probably #2 on my list we started regular Skype sessions to see what we could come up with. For my appreciation I wrote an article on their beautiful country which was featured in the travel magazine I was writing for. Although I decided to go out on my own to find my villa, I learned quite a bit from them and built a really cool relationship with them so NOW when I finally venture to Greece, I will have my own personal tour guides :-)!
It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t garner some lessons from this….it’s the Capricorn in me….that everything is all business even when it’s not lol! I have learned or better yet reconfirmed things I’ve always known, general life-type things throughout this journey….one thing off top is just how I sucked at geography in high school but was and am still better off than a lot of people. I had to look at my world map above my desk in my office to locate Indonesia so I’d know exactly where I was trying to go. I mentioned it to someone today, just the trip in general, and I could tell they hadn’t even heard of Indonesia and probably thought I was going somewhere in the Caribbean. Who am I to judge *shrugs*!
1. The Art of Visualization paired with goal-setting, planning, determination is key to EVERYTHING. Now you must know that I didn’t just wake up one morning and say, “I’m gonna go halfway around the world……tomorrow” LOL! I started really thinking about this and the possibility of it being a reality a year ago. I took every opportunity that came before me to contribute to making this happen. I took real stock in “WHERE” I was in real life (do I have my passport <–well of course – my 5th but still had to confirm; do I have the resources to make this happen; am I willing to do this even if no one else is able to attend [since I did an open invitation that was something I had to ask myself]). All of these things partnered with a desire to make it happen, the drive to get things done attributed to this coming to fruition.
2. Relationship-building is soooo important in life, not just business but life 360. I basically did an open invitation to anyone who has crossed my path in these (soon-to-be) 40 years and the response was very moving. Now granted I was merely providing the villa whilst airfare was left to each individual but the fact that many were (even up to the past 2 weeks) eager to embark on this journey with me was beyond heartfelt. Be it for the personal experience or the security of traveling with someone else either way I know how hard it is to just get people you know to travel a few miles let alone halfway around the world. For that I spent alot of time stressing over making this a lovely experience for those who attended vs for my own personal pleasure, although everyone wins really lol!
3. Life happens and no matter how well you plan you MUST be flexible to roll with it. Probably my biggest challenge in life given my nature of planning everything to include a simple trip to the grocery store. I had days preceding my first leg of travel down to the second only for the universe to throw a pop quiz that left me panic stricken. As luck would have it, on New Years Eve leaving a lovely brunch I felt my tooth shift….well it was my crown from last years tooth chipping incident that was somehow losing its footing. Of course the dentist office is closed on New Years so that meant the absolute earliest I could go to a sit and stalk er uh wait would be Thursday which was also the day my visiting family was leaving to return to Orlando. This was MAJOR because this held prime real estate in my mouth – smile killer. After, again, determining that stabbing myself with my stiletto would totally ruin my trip, I was able to think clearly. I believe I made the Universe proud because I not only got into the dentist as a walk-in but I didn’t have to wait <—THAT never happens even with an appointment.
4. Pressure is NOT my enemy but my BESTEST friend. It is 9:22, my first flight leaves tomorrow at 4:25 I only begun packing but it’s in a very bipolar fashion. Unlike normal people, I can’t pack too far in advance or I’ll be afraid of forgetting things. I do have parameters though which include, packing the same day if the flight is late in the day and within the continental U.S; if it’s an international flight then I always give myself 24 hrs. My neurosis I know, but I’ve made peace with it.
So here I sit, in the middle of the floor, avoiding the obvious which is this beast known as packing. I guess I need to get pack to it or I’ll have to add a #5 – Procrastination only delays the obvious, it does NOT lessen the pain, stress, angst lol!
This was such a wonderful collection of quotes on ‘CHANGE” that I couldn’t help but share on my own blog! Thank you Jeff!!
“It’s safe to share my gifts with the world.”
Standing in the collective heart of humanity, one begins to be pulled toward their unique contribution to the world. Uncovering your soul’s purpose is not always the easiest task. Throughout life, we are influenced by what we have done in the past, what we’ve been told we can/cannot do, and what our present circumstances seem to dictate. In order to reveal the gifts that lie beneath the surface of our heart’s greatest desires, we must invoke the agent of change called purpose.
You must not look to the past or even the present to see why you are here, but instead bring forth your soul’s legacy into the present moment. An entire life can be lived yet forgotten so very quickly. What better way to celebrate life than by following your soul’s purpose. The yearning to make a difference is your need to express your purpose and derive meaning from your time on earth.
The world is waiting for you. Inspired by the depth of your courage and strength, the Divine opens its arms to you as a fully integrated being who carries the seeds of hope, health, happiness, and prosperity. The ground is now prepared for you to continue to plant the seeds of your greatest desires to breath life into possibility.
To follow the call to new, uncharted land, you must trust in the possibilities that exist. For the opportunities and possibilities are endless. The challenges and losses; the shifts and the changes, will be plentiful, but the goal of a soul that is satisfied, filled up, inspired, happy, passionate, and fully alive is worth everything you will go through on your journey!
This will be a trip worth taking!
Faith, Hope and Trust!!! Reblogging
Right this moment, I am on the cusp of a major life change and couldn’t be more excited about it!
With change and growth comes discomfort and it is in that period that the magic actually happens if WE are open to embrace the discomfort.
Being the planner and [overly] analytical human being I am, trust that the WORK has been done and done again and again and again to enable me to reach this point with any sense of certainty. I believe (and live by) the mantra that if one has done the work upfront then they themselves are better prepared for what may come. Meaning, I’ve looked at the what ifs, if nots, benefits, potential disasters, and such. I’ve answered the questions and still returned the answer of “YES this can be accomplished; YES this is the right move; and YES you are prepared” which further substantiates my decision.
The irony and beauty (at the same time) is that during this moment of execution is the moment when most of the second-guessing occurs. I was reminded however that the things being hurled my way are merely “fools gold” and presented to test my faith, believe, and trust in myself. No truer words have been spoken…..so back to my plan.
In these moments I chuckle internally that the fact that most [who know me] assume I have it all figured out and most times I do. However the work behind that confidence and can-do attitude is tedious, long, taxing, repetitive, and sometimes chaotic. I’ve learned over time that there is always a method to my internal madness and as long as I can arrive to a place of calm, peace, certainty then all is right with the world.
Having a plan does not guarantee that everything will go well, but a thoroughly laid-out plan will ensure that one has at best accounted for all things – those things that can go right and that which could go totally sideways. Most importantly prepares you to handle the less than desirable even if you have ZERO answers.
So as I sit on the edge of my life, looking internally from the outside I see the power of being fully present, the power in NEVER riding passenger in your life and especially not that of another, the beauty in controlling your destiny as much as possible by making those difficult, frightening decisions when the other choice is often as simple as doing nothing. The countdown has begun and I admit I am quite excited about whats to come. One thing’s for certain, I will ALWAYS control my life and make decision for me. Simply ‘being’ and ‘exiting’ is never enough for without action and forward motion life is not and the time given is not maximized.
Believe. Have Faith. Hope. Dream. Live!!
As if dealing in the REAL world isn’t enough, you’ve got to contend with those living their lives in a constant state of delusions <insert eye rolling>.
You’ve surely crossed paths with one at some point, you know the type who always think people are against them, or have a sense of grandiosity, or he/she who believes things that are unquestionably false but yet very real to the delusional even when the facts clearly say otherwise. Not ringing a bell, well perhaps the delusional one is you which sounds about right as the delusion begins with self and not being able to separate fact from fiction.
I have had the misfortune to meet a few of these “special” people in my lifetime and I can tell you it is a quite an experience. Most times quite honestly I wasn’t sure if they were crazy or I was slightly off my rocker as I listened with intent yet total confusion of situations that occurred but did so very differently, things that were never said, and transgressions that never were. Again if you can’t relate then said individual just might be you!
The craziest part is what the delusional one does to the rest of us or the sorta sane. The delusion is such that often you question your very own sanity because you believe you are dealing with someone who is “sane” and otherwise in their right mind so the only explanation is that you must be the one who is missing the boat. Do NOT be fooled nor sucked in by this mental game of concentration (a.k.a match, match reality to make-believe) for it will eat you alive. Therefore as soon as it becomes clear to you that the delusion is “real” for the delusional one you must run and run fast.
I recently got wind of a situation that totally left me scratching my head which actually given how my mind works I’m often looking sideways at those I encounter (no diss, just what happens when one has an active mind that they allow to run freely while processing all that is around them very quickly).
You, seemingly put together lady of a particular age with a career and means and friends and a life, created an entire relationship that NEVER was <insert puzzled look>. Your romantic interest expressed how he was not interested yet you continued to pursue him while questioning why said interest was not spending any time with you….um because he is NOT your boyfriend, lover, partner, etc. <–see the delusion?
Make no mistake delusional disorder is a real live mental issue often hard to treat because as you can imagine he/she who is delusional does not see it as such for it is real, very real for them. WebMD (http://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/delusional-disorder) simply puts Delusional Disorder as….
“……a type of serious mental illness involving psychosis. Psychosis is the inability to tell what is real from what is imagined. The main feature of delusional disorder is the presence of delusions — unshakable beliefs in something untrue. People with delusional disorder experience non-bizarre delusions, which involve situations that could occur in real life, such as being followed, poisoned, deceived, conspired against, or loved from a distance. These delusions usually involve the misinterpretation of perceptions or experiences. In reality, however, the situations are either not true at all or highly exaggerated.
People with delusional disorder often can continue to socialize and function normally, apart from the subject of their delusion, and generally do not behave in an obviously odd or bizarre manner.”
The thought of it sounds comical or like the makings of a reality show but when caught up in a situation with one of these individuals it can be downright frustrating if not painful. Imagine befriending one who always creates their own storms yet blames you for the rain? He/she who thinks someone always is out to get them or he/she creates imaginary situations (someone in love with them, spying on them, etc.). The best defense is first to acknowledge that it is not you and secondly determine how you will interact with them going forward (if at all) so that their delusions do not become your dysfunction!