Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. – Harriet Tubman
On this rainy, lazy Sunday Georgia afternoon as I prepare to once again leave the comforts of my home to support a business project – one which I just returned from this past Friday for 8 whole days – my mind wandered to the art of helping others and the ongoing battle with my internal self to do so.
Life is nothing without helping another in any capacity; of time, money, resources, ability, talents, etc. However, when does it become less about helping others and more about helping yourself out of the aforementioned? Some people quite frankly look to others too often for help or create situations requiring them to be rescued versus making better choices upfront. Others just simply expect the world to come to their rescue when things get a little tough which in this case, helping merely creates an environment of enabling which helps no one.
Between financial help and that of one’s time, I’d be hard-pressed to find anything else that ‘costs’ more when the ROI is not equal to the initial support given! What I find to be a hard pill to swallow is the reaction or response from those you help when it’s time to make good on the terms. Most often the helpER is met with delays, hesitations, avoidance, or excuses that leaves me perplexed as it quite simply feels like a different person he/she who requested assistance in the beginning. Only in a few situations has the person I helped actually held up their end of the bargain which of course makes them something of a rarity lol! For those who were less than responsive or just plan disregarded my kindness, they automatically become ‘ineligible’ for help in the future unfortunately.
As one who often feels moved to help those near and dear to me when in a position to do I can only extend myself after I’ve had a conversation with my inner self stating that I am in essence giving away my time (that which I can’t get back) or I am “giving away” money in the event I don’t get it back. Having that conversation with myself helps me to alleviate any heartburn or future disappointment when those I’ve helped negate their agreed upon terms. Now it doesn’t totally take the sting of potentially having my kindness abused or being treated as if my help was in vain but it atleast minimizes the sting.
No matter those who have not held their end of the bargain, I will always give others the benefit of the doubt because in all honesty as someone who reads people based on their character and behaviors I can usually tell those who are just users versus those who have perhaps run into a little situation. At the end of the day, ‘life’ will and does happen and any one of us can find ourselves needing help of some sort so instead of completely turning off the “will help’ sign, you must be selective in WHO you help and be clear about the terms of said help!
Help someone, you never know what may come by doing so!